After re-evaluating my story and cutting most of it, I tried starting it over again but I couldn't face a blank page on Microsoft Word after making such a heartbreaking decision.
To fill in the time, I wrote character synopses which helped me figure out motives and direction and consequently, to figure out which scenes were important and which scenes could be scrapped. This means I won't write another 57,000 words and find something wrong with it. I won't be wasting time.
I thought I had it done, so I could brave the blank page again but when I did, my brain went dead and my fingers tapped random words on the keyboard. I felt like this, only not as happy:
http://dailypicksandflicks.com/2012/06/20/daily-picdump-495/brain-fart-dolphin/
As I clearly wasn't ready to start my story again, I started writing a scene list and ordering everything so I won't have to format or snip and tie threads later. I find it therapeutic to build my story, world and characters from scratch instead of plunging straight in-- I've had too many disasters and I'm going to work through this so I won't be disappointed again.
I'm pumped! I'm going to get this done. I won't finish by the deadline I previously imposed but I can still see myself sending out query letters before my birthday, so still that's my main goal. No more brain fart. I'm going off to finish my scene list!
